Peter And The Wolf

Noncanonical Texts

Bolton Abbey and Mount St. Odile Script Fragments

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Chapter 435

Verses 13-32

And then some.

The smells of dog death will fade away, and the seal fat and the dry sherry will seem limp and frail. Tiny microdeath will creep around your forehead, ploughing furrows in your furrowed brow and building altars to pagan gods who make you sick. And then you'll fall upon your sword, and your neighbours sword which you swopped for a lawnmower, and the swords of all you come across in the town. And when you slump in your chair in the eventide you'll recede like a shit in the sewers to the cold recesses of your dumb memory. But you were never great, my child, nor ever so complete or fullsome. You were never in the moment, or yourself or another or free or enslaved. The sliding mirrors of your slick sickly eye lids do you no favours, because the world does you no favours, because you do yourself no favours. They only serve to cover up those things you cannot touch. You can look, you can always look, but you will never touch. Nor should you have to, but you ache for it whether you know it or not. So the sun will rise again and so will you, as about as risen as burning bun, and crumble into the daylight and bumble through the business until its time to collapse into that fitless coma you call rest. Dickhead. Now shut up, shut down and shy off. So said fierce De Nilson, not a dutchman or a disease, but a silent chapter in an ever unfolding nothing-book.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Chapter 153

Verses 13-24

Sitting down upon the rocky ledge he began to speak to the crowd, saying:

"Be good. Be really really good. Don't be bad. That would be really bad. Don't tell lies and stuff. It can be very difficult sometimes to tell the truth, but its easy for me because I have a massive willy."

When he had finished saying these things he got up to leave, but a flock of disgruntled geese surrounded him, dashing him to oblivion before the crowd. It was late on the fourth day, and everyone went home for their tea.